Developing a Heart for the Lost — in Yourself and Those You Lead

I have sat with leaders who know all the right methods. They have been trained well. They understand reproducibility, obedience-based discipleship, and discovery Bible study. They could teach it to someone else tomorrow.

And yet nothing is moving. Because the methods are not the problem.

What is missing — and I say this gently, because I have felt its absence in myself at different seasons — is a genuine, persistent ache for the people who do not yet know Jesus. Not a theoretical commitment to the Great Commission or getting the right method and executing it perfectly.But an actual love for real people who are living and dying without knowing Him. That is the non-negotiable ofdisciple-making that multiplies.

Where the Heart Comes From

I’llbe honest. We cannot manufacture this. We can’t discipline ourselves into it or attend a conference that produces it. But… we can position ourselves to receive it. Over and over again.

For me, the heart for the lost has always been most alive when I am actually spending time with people who don’t know Jesus and when I am praying for them regularly. Not thinking about them in the abstract. Being with them. Listening to their stories. Letting their lives become real to me rather than remaining a category in my mind.

Ididn’thave a heart for the beggars on the streets of my Indian city until I started talking to them and learning their names. Ididn’tlove the cross-dressers in Thailand until I got to know them as people.

Jesus looked at the crowds and was moved with compassion, Matthew 9 tells us. His compassion came from seeing them. There is something about proximity — real, unhurried proximity to people outside the faith — that does what no training can replicate. It softens our hearts toward the people God loves.

Cultivating It in Those You Lead

If you are responsible for leading others — a congregation, a training cohort, a team of DMM practitioners — the question of how to cultivate this heart in them is worth taking seriously.

In my experience, two things work more than almost anything else.

The first is intentionally creating proximity. Get your people out of the building and into relationships with people who don’t know Jesus. Not an evangelism program. Actual relationships— in neighborhoods, in workplaces, on their kids' soccer field, in the normal patterns of daily life. Then help them be intentional about getting to know those people. Taking one step beyond “Hey, how’s it going?” Our hearts follow as a relationship develops with them.

The second is prayer — specifically, sustained prayer for named individuals. I have watched people’s hearts change dramatically toward someone they were praying for by name over weeks and months. There is something about bringing a specific person before God consistently that produces in us something of what God already feels toward them. I’veseen this in training rooms in India and in small groups in the American Midwest. It works everywhere, and it works in me.

The Methods Follow the Heart

Here is what I have observed consistently over thirty-five years: when a leader genuinely loves the people they are trying to reach, the multiplication methods almost take care of themselves. They find a way. They adapt. They keep trying after failure because the love for the person is stronger than the discomfort of the risk.

And when the heart is not there, even the best methods feel like an obligation. They get done when the schedule demands it and are dropped when life gets busy.

Before the method question, there is a heart question. How is yours? And what would it look like to tend to it this week — to intentionally put yourself in proximity to a lost person God loves, and to begin praying for them by name?

If this is a question you want to keep exploring — in yourself and in how you lead others — you’re welcome in our community. Come find us atmultipliersmindset.com/dtmmembership.

Something to Think About and Discuss:

• On a scale of honest reflection: how alive is your heart toward the lost right now? What do you think accounts for where it is?

• What resonated with you most in this article?

• What is one step you could take this week to position yourself in genuine proximity to someone who doesn’t yet know Jesus?

Share in the comments below or on our Dare to Multiply community.